I could never imagine my life without Jeremy.  Before I was pregnant with him, I didn’t think that I would be a mom to a boy.  But from the moment I found out I was pregnant with him, I knew he was going to be a boy and I knew I could be his mom and I would love it.  I do love it!  He has this unbelievably sweet spirit.  He loves like no one I have known before.  And he loves everyone, not just his family, but everyone.

When I found out the he was going to be born with Spina Bifida, I was again scared to death.  But I was comforted by the Spirit and I knew it would be okay and I knew I could do it.  And in someways it is even easier than I thought it would be.  Most days it is just life.  He is my boy. But there are some days when I just wish it wasn’t so.  And I wish that somehow there was a miracle.  My heart aches when I see him struggle to play and keep up with other kids his age.  When I think of the things he has been through.  Things I will never fully understand.  Things that I might not even know about.  And things he may never get to do.  This is just sometimes and I try to remember that comfort I felt from the beginning when I do feel this way.  And I pray that he will feel that comfort and hope in his own life too; that he will always know he can do so much.

Well, yesterday and today I have been feeling this way.  And I heard this song, Shine by Rachel de Azevedo Coleman.  It is so beautiful.  It probably makes me just as emotional as my other feelings, but it a much better way.

rhaplink?rhapid=6530420&type=playlist&title=Playlist&from=vcast

(To listen to the song, click on the link above.  It will take you to the Rhapsody website.  Click play on the song Shine, #12.  There will be a pop-up box with the music player, It will ask if you want to join or just listen to 25 free songs.  Click the continue button and it will let you listen for free!)  Here are the lyrics:

SHINE

Sometimes I see you stuck
For such a long time
A daily nothing new
Pretend I don’t mind
With lists of things you’ll never do
Until somehow you do
And you do — you do — you shine

The days and months and years,
they run together
Is it just one day? Or is this forever?
You’ve taught me in your lifetime
More than I’d learned in mine
And you do, you do, you shine

Shine Shine Shine Shine Shine
Shine your light on me
Shine Shine Shine Shine Shine
everyone will see
Shine Shine Shine Shine Shine
I’m so glad you are mine
And you’ll shine in your own time

Well, maybe I’m too close to see you clearly
Or is it now my role to simply believe?
You’re just one of those mysteries
That may never be solved in time
But you do — you do — you shine

And Sammy will do what Sammy will do when Sammy is ready to do it
And Trevor will do what Trevor will do when Trevor is ready to do it
And Lucy will do what Lucy will do when Lucy is ready to do it
And they’ll do it in their own time

Yeah, they’ll Shine Shine Shine Shine Shine
Shine your light on me
Shine Shine Shine Shine Shine
And everyone will see
Shine Shine Shine Shine Shine
I’m so glad you are mine
And you’ll shine, and you shine

I was already feeling kinda baby hungry (is it just me or is everyone pregnant right now?!?!) and then I watch this.  A documentary about 4 babies in 4 different parts of the world.  It is not out yet but should be sometime this year.  Babies

Place your cursor over the picture for a description.

I went to a party at my friend Emily’s house.  It was her birthday, and come to find out it was his birthday too.  I remember when I walked into her house he was leaning against the door frame going into the kitchen.  I noticed him right away.  Emily introduced us and I thought they were dating.  I knew she was dating someone, and I couldn’t remember his name and he was definitely cute so I thought he was the guy.  Turns out she was actually dating his roommate.   So we met at this party, but I was kinda interested in someone else so I didn’t really think too much about him.  Then a couple of weeks later a girl at work asked if I was dating anyone (no) and if she could set me up with her brother (hmmm, I guess so).  She brought in a picture of him and I knew I knew him from somewhere, but couldn’t exactly place him.  She said a lot of people think he looks like that Green Day guy and he did, so I just brushed it off as the reason I recognized him.  A week or so later he called me and we were talking when we put it together that we had met at the party and that we knew A LOT of the same people.  Our first date was breakfast and sledding.  It was a lot of fun and I knew I liked him.  And a year and half after that we got married.

I love Ryan so much.  He is a great daddy, husband and my best friend.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY Baby!!

I should have posted this last week, but didn’t.  Jer was pretty upset when BYU lost to Florida.

Before the game

Yelling at the defense

Getting Frustrated because FSU keeps scoring!

And we lost!

He was upset for a really long time

Jer really does like watching sports.  When we had TV and would watch a game (any sport) Jer would still with Ryan and watch.  These were actually taken Sunday after the game.  During the game he was pretty happy except for when he threw up.  Which was either because he was so upset by the way BYU played or because he swallowed a peanut whole and gagged himself.

Here are some pictures from Jessica’s birthday party that I did with my sister.  We had a lot of fun.  I think my favorite parts were the enrty into her backyard and the puppet show.  Ryan did a Rapunzel puppet show.  It turned out great and I think the girls really enjoyed it.  I wish I had some pictures of him doing the puppet show but I didn’t get a chance to take any.

I am an aspiring party planner. I love the decorating, the yummy food, the organizing of the whole thing and helping other people have FUN!  Since about 1999, the summer after my freshman year at BYU, I have wanted to be a party planner, specifically a wedding planner.  I have even taken a course and am a Certified Bridal Consultant.

After I finished the program I started having babies and haven’t done much to pursue my dream of being a party planner.  Well I have decided it is time to do something about it.  So this week I am helping my sister throw her little girl’s 6th birthday party.  It is a princess tea party.  I am beyond excited!  We are having lots of pink and pom-poms and glitter and dainty little sandwiches and of course lots of princesses.  And next month I am helping my other sister throw her daughter’s 5th birthday (Candyland).  I am hoping to build up a little portfolio and maybe start a small little business.  If nothing else I am having tons of fun!

Every time we go to the mall Kim gets in the photo booth.  Its not really that big a deal except when we have to drag her out kicking and screaming.  I always worry that someone thinks I am trying to kidnap my own daughter.  Yesterday we went to the mall to walk around and play at the treehouse and right on schedule she ran and jumped into the photo booth.  Did you know they charge 3 bucks for those pictures!  And they aren’t even that good.  My printer at home prints up better pictures.  I thought it would be fun, so the four of us squeezed into the little booth and this is what came out…

So here it is 2 1/2 weeks after I said I was going to start blogging again and this is only my second post.  Well I guess a couple of weeks is better than a couple of months.

We have been adjusting to having Jer in a spica cast.  He has been a real trooper.  He has learned how to “crawl” around and plays like he used to except that it is on his tummy or side instead of sitting up.  The hardest part has been his diaper situation.  The diaper is just tucked up a hole in his cast and can leak if you don’t change him regularly.

He is in the cast for three months and at 6 weeks (October 1st)  he gets a new one.  We put him in a blue cast because we thought we would have him be Superman for Halloween.  But we think at the six week mark we will change it to red and he can be Lightning McQueen.

Here are some pictures of life in his cast.

Jer in hospital the day we were discharged.

When he isn't crawling, Jer sits in the bean bag.

Spica Car Seat

Jer in car seat

Jer feel asleep playing